Besotted old Mildred drank ale
Then drove, was caught, needed bail
Lest prison her drinking curtail.
She asked for cash from boyfriend Dale,
Dashing off a pleasant email,
’Cause she was certain he’d not fail
To aid her. But his new gal, Gale,
Raised a storm of rain, wind and hail,
Said his male member she’d impale.
So Dale let Mildred stay in jail,
Where she ate salads made with kale,
But she couldn’t send any mail,
Take naps or file one finger’s nail.
Mildred was now so ashen, so pale,
She was no larger than a quail
And just as skinny as a rail.
In Mildred’s cell the air was stale,
And one day she left. Here’s the tale:
The true story I’ll now unveil –
Disguised behind a wedding veil,
Mildred let out a piercing wail
And ran til she found Dale at Yale,
And had him buy gems from jeweler Zale.