Me Gossip?



  The modern world is full of diversions,
   But still nothing beats casting aspersions.
   Down life’s path I so blithely meander
   Deriving pleasure from slinging slander.
   Why yes you have a fine reputation,
   So I think I’ll launch a disputation
   And argue at length that perhaps I ought
   To reconsider and say you’re a sot.
   And that lady says you’re really quite kind,
   But I wonder: Has she lost half her mind?
   Why all the evidence is ever so clear
   That all your goodness is just a veneer.
   And everyone says you help the needy.
   The  truth?  You’re sly, shrewd, and oh so greedy.
   You’re making a ton in the alms racket
   While falling to a lower tax bracket.
   And, oh, they say you’re a wonderful spouse
   I’ll just tell them you’re a two-timing louse.
   Wait! Did someone suggest I’m spreading untruth?
   Well, hasn’t that fellow a single couth?
   Surely he knows you’re my friend close and dear
   And I would not whisper behind your rear.
   ’Tis sad that folks are often so nasty
   And think that I – that I – am a patsy.
   Well, I never said those things that I said
   And the dolts who think so have been misled.
   I am your best friend, a friend good and true
   Would I say such things referring to you?
   Or anyone, anyone, for that matter?
   You know I avoid all gossipy blather.
  

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