A Septet of Triolets

It has been almost three months since I have written a word. Hoping to create a spark large enough to get me scribbling again, I consulted The Complete Works of T. Harris (a disorganized heap of papers and a few Word documents) and found, among other things, the triolets that follow.

 I wrote these seven ,and twenty or thirty others like them ,when I was a member of Suzanne Byerley's writing class at the Conneaut Community Center for the Arts and later the Kingsville Library. Suzanne introduced me to the triolet form. One week I wrote two or three that had an off-kilter animal theme, and Suzanne and the others in the class kept encouraging me to write more. Which I did.

The class was a wonderful experience. Suzanne was a terrific teacher, so very knowledgeable and so very encouraging. Every class began with Suzanne going through our offerings from the previous week. Her critiques were always a blend of gentle criticism for everything from silly mistakes to flagrant grammatical and spelling errors, effusive praise for all that was done well, and wise, thoughtful suggestions to make the story, poem or essay a more effective piece.

Best of all, at least in my opinion, as she went through our writings, Suzanne would often read aloud a paragraph or two of the piece she was discussing. I loved when she read something of mine; not because it made me feel oh-so-special, but because she read so well. Each time she read something of mine, I'd sit there, listen, and think, "Damn, Tom, that's good stuff, much better than you thought it was." Then I'd read it when I got home and wonder why it sounded so good in Conneaut and like crap back in Ashtabula.

Mary got me involved in the class, and I am so grateful she did. She was also my chauffeur to class once my right leg and foot no longer moved with alacrity from the gas pedal to the brake pedal. Everyone in the class - Jeanne, Katie, Gitta, Nancy, Chuck, Wayne, Celia, and several more whose names I'm having trouble remembering - had class, and everyone had a ready smile. If memories of that class and all the people involved with it can't get me back to stringing words together, I don't know what will.

And now on to the poems I promised you a few hundred words ago.

Camel Lot

When you go to buy a camel,

Go to King Arthur’s Camel Lot.

To select a stylish mammal.

When you go to buy a camel,

Check his hump and tooth enamel -

You can’t return him once he’s bought.

When you go to buy a camel,

Go to King Arthur’s Camel Lot.

Jackal and Hyde

Did you know the well-dressed jackal

Gets his wardrobe from Mr. Hyde?

It’s enough to make you cackle,

When you see the well-dressed jackal,

Once a muscular left tackle

Now quite flabby and six feet wide.

Did you know the well-dressed jackal

Gets his wardrobe from Mr. Hyde?

Mammoth Melody

The huge, lumbering mastodon

Thought he was a pearl of culture.

But when he sang an opera song,

The huge, lumbering mastodon

Was much more frightening than King Kong -

Why, he even scared the vulture.

The huge, lumbering mastodon

Thought he was a pearl of culture.

Notes from a Porcupine

Too bad the prickly porcupine

Never learned to write with his quills.

When writing to his Valentine,

Too bad the prickly porcupine

Cannot write, “Will you be mine?”

Instead he makes scratchy squiggles.

Too bad the prickly porcupine

Never learned to write with his quills.

Rat on the Run

Life for the low down, dirty rat

Is not as easy as it seems.

Once the kitty knows where he’s at

Life for the low down, dirty rat

Becomes a battle with the cat,

Whose head is full of tricky schemes.

Life for the low down, dirty rat

Is not as easy as it seems.

The Cleaning Croc

Janitor Jim, the crocodile,

Worked every day cleaning the swamp.

The turtles had wild parties while

Janitor Jim, the crocodile,

Stood nearby – and never did smile –

With his dust rags, broom and his mop.

Janitor Jim, the crocodile,

Worked every day cleaning the swamp.

The Fussy Bandicoot

The fussy little bandicoot

Wouldn’t eat his seeds and berries.

And he just did not give a hoot,

The fussy little bandicoot,

For meals of spiders and dried fruit,

Unless the fruit was cherries.

The fussy little bandicoot

Would not eat his seeds and berries.

Morning's Glory

Crossword, fresh coffee,

Birds sing, sun rises, clear sky.

Sunday morning bliss.

Notes from the Home - March 4, 2017

An email from Huntington Bank appeared in the inbox on Tuesday, February 21. It wasn't unexpected. In January, Huntington had merged or acquired First Merit, which is where the Ohio Public Employees Retirement System and the Social Security Administration send my money. According to the email, my accounts at First Merit had been successfully moved to Huntington. If I wished to make use of Huntington's online services, I needed to go online and set things up.

Wednesday afternoon I cozied up to the computer, opened Huntington's email, and clicked on the appropriate link for setting up online services. The first page was easy; I was asked to type my First Merit username in one box, and my Social Security number in the other. Then I was directed to click on "Continue" if I wanted to continue.

At first glance, the second page appeared as easy as the first. A box on the screen showed last the four digits of the two phone numbers First Merit had for me. I was to click on the number I wanted them to use, then they would text a number, which I could punch in to get at the stuff I needed. I clicked on digits of my current phone and waited for the promised text. The anticipated message didn't arrive. Instead, "Oops, there seems to be a problem with the telephone number you selected.," popped up on the screen. "Oops, there seems to be a problem with your piece-of-crap computer," said I. Then I looked closely at the number. "Oops, it appears I transposed the last two digits of my phone number when I gave the number to First Merit." I mixed up those two numbers several times or more when I first got the phone. I couldn't blame First Merit for what was obviously my mistake. Well, I could have if I were a politician. But I'm not.

No big deal, at the bottom of the screen there was a phone number at which help was available "24 hours a day, seven days a week." My call was promptly answered by a computer that asked for my Social Security number. "I'm sorry, that number is not in our customer file," the computer said after I put in the SS number. I called again and chose the "Press One" option. "Please say or punch in the account number of one of your accounts." I put in the number of my checking account. "I'm sorry, Huntington Bank accounts do not start with those numbers."

So, I called again and pressed "0", hoping it would get me to a real person. Ha! It bombarded me with really loud, really bad music, occasionally interrupted by a synthesized voice assuring me that my call was important and a representative would be with me in a few moments. Those few moments stretched to ten minutes, and I hung up. Three more tries Wednesday and three on Thursday resulted in lots promises that a representative would be with me in just a few minutes, but the representative never showed up.

Friday, with the end of the month fast approaching, I had no choice but to dial the number, press "0", and wait and wait and wait until the representative picked up my call. Forty-five minutes later, she did. I told her my name and that I was a First Merit customer who wanted to use Huntington's online services. She would be glad to help me, but first I had to make it clear that I wasn't Mrs. Harris. That doesn't bother me. People on the phone have been mistaking my voice for that of a woman's for ten years. My voice must have changed some as a result of the MS.

"OK, Mr. Harris, how can I help you?" Hoping to make light of my foolishness in transposing the digits of my phone number, I said, "Well, I was stupid." "You weren't stupid, Mr. Harris. Lots of people way younger than you are having difficulty with this."

If the people having trouble are way younger than I, that means she thinks I'm way older. Being mistaken for a woman when I'm talking on the phone is one thing. But being mistaken for a "way older" woman is quite another. I was crushed.

*                    *                    *

The dogwood tree outside my window is ready to spring into spring.

Some Recent Visitors

Look who's been to see me.

Ranting and Raving, and for Good Reason

Here I am at the Covenant Woods Retirement Community in Columbus, Georgia, where life is good so long as you don't mind lying in bed and listening to the neighbor listen to some guy rant until eleven o'clock or midnight or the until the wee hours of the morning. Now, to be fair, this doesn't happen every night, just three or four nights a week.

The problem began after Leila moved out of Covenant Woods, and my current neighbor moved into the apartment next door. A week or two after she moved in, I asked my new neighbor if she could turn down the TV, or whatever it was she had on nearly every night. "That's my son," she said. "You'll have to talk to him." "Not my job," I told her.

I did, however, call the Covenant Woods' number on those nights when the neighbor's son felt his right to play the TV or CD or other device trumped my right to a reasonably quiet trip to Dreamland. The Covenant Woods' security person would either get on the intercom or go to the neighbor's door and ask them to turn it down. I know the Covenant Woods' security people did this because I could hear the conversations. For instance, one night the Covenant Woods' security called the neighbor on the intercom, asked her to turn it down, and the neighbor said to her son, "He said, turn it down." I have no desire to eavesdrop, but my list of medical problems does not include any mention of a hearing deficiency. Sometimes I wish it did.

All my whining eventually got a reaction from the Covenant Woods' management. Roger, the general manager, told me he sent a letter to my neighbor informing her that her son was not allowed in the building after 6 pm. The son, who had been driving a banged-up Kia, began using his mother's car. Again, I don't snoop around in other people's business, but my neighbor's assigned handicapped parking spot is right outside my window. So, each morning, sonny boy would guide his mother's car into the assigned space, and by early evening, the car was gone. My nights were much more pleasant, and falling asleep was so easy.

However,  two weeks later on a Friday night, I looked out the window rather than watch political ads during a Jeopardy commercial break. There, right in front of the window, was my neighbor's car. That night, I was given the pleasure of listening to whatever the neighbor's kid was listening to, the same old crap. He was back that Saturday night. I called and complained. The person working security either ignored my call or came down, walked by the neighbor's door, couldn't hear anything, and went on by. Alas, I don't sleep in the hall.

The son was back again the following night, along with the noise from whatever it is he listens to. Hoping to get some sleep, I raised my voice and yelled, "Please turn that down." That didn't work, even after several attempts. I kept trying, he kept ignoring me, even when I shouted, very politely, mind you, "Turn that goddamned thing off, you inconsiderate idiot." Finally, about one in the morning, he left in his mother's car. I know he left because when he put the headlights on, they lit up my room for a few seconds. Sunday was a little better. My yelling that evening must have done some good. About eleven o'clock, as he was getting ready to leave, I heard the son tell his mother, "I don't give a fuck about him." Then the neighbor's sliding door slid open and slid shut and the headlights lit my room.

Early the next evening - Monday - I could hear the usual stuff from the next room. It was only 6:45, but I thought a little spying was in order. I headed up front, glanced in the activity room and saw my neighbor in there playing bingo. I kept going and went to the lobby, where Theresa was working at the desk. I asked if the Covenant Woods' management had relented and allowed the neighbor's son to be in the building at night. "No," she said. I told her he had been here over the weekend. She checked the security tapes, which, of course, showed sonny boy leaving at the times I said he had left.

The upshot of all that was a week or two of peacefully falling asleep. I was even told by Covenant Woods' management that they had a restraining order to keep the neighbor's son out of the building at all times.

It didn't keep him out for long. The current routine is, he comes back, I complain, Roger or someone speaks with his mother, he's gone for a few days, he comes back, I complain, Roger or someone speaks with his mother, he's gone for a day or two, he comes back . . . ad infinitum.

Sunday night, the son was next door doing what he always does. I called the desk at 10:16, according to the phone's log of dialed calls, and asked Warren, the security person that night, to have the neighbor turn it down. Five minutes later, there was knock on the neighbor's door, the TV or whatever immediately went silent, someone opened the door and Warren asked them to keep it down. Two minutes later, the audio portion of the evening resumed.

I turned to the only weapon at my disposal: vocal chords. It took ten minutes, but I finally was able to shout the son into submission. At 10:40, according to my phone's log, Warren called back to say he'd received five calls from people who heard me yelling. "He turned the damn thing back on as soon as you left," I said. "I was down there a minute ago, and it was quiet." Yes, it was, but it wasn't five minutes earlier. "I'm going to have to write this up," he said.

I don't know if he did write it up. No one from Covenant Woods' management spoke to me about it. Perhaps Roger spoke to my neighbor - all was quiet Monday night. Not so last night, Tuesday, however. Perhaps the son is watching me. At least it seemed that way. Almost as soon as I sat down on the bed to take off my shoes, the recorded voice I am unfortunately so familiar with made its way through the wall.

Rather than calling the desk, asking the security person to ask the neighbor to turn it down, and be frustrated when nothing happened, I raised my voice and told the neighbor - more likely her son - to turn it down. He doesn't listen well, and I did my best to keep my voice under control so as not to disturb others. It took fifteen minutes, but the son finally turned the darn thing down and went to the other side of his mother's apartment to listen to it.

It is a strange feeling, trying my best not to disturb others while I'm trying to get a person who is not supposed to be in the building to stop disturbing me. But that's life at Covenant Woods, where life is good, so they say,

Two Limericks

In an effort to jump start my New Year's resolution to write something every, which I haven't been doing, I came up with two limericks for MadKane's limerick off.

Unsafe Cracker

The spastic and oft drunk old yegg

Now cannot crack even an egg.

His one friend’s a cop

Who’s really a slop,

But he’ll buy him beer should he beg.

The Blues

Well, it seems my once faithful muse

Has decided now to abuse

This kindly old scribe,

Who cannot describe

How that babe left me singing the blues.

And I'm Quoting

In August, for reasons unknown, I began jotting down quotes that appealed to me. I didn't go looking for them, or not many of them, anyway. They are things I ran across on the Internet or in the paper. When I saw them, I copied them into a small notebook.

Because I am - and have always been - a less-than-organized soul, I thought it best to put them into the computer before I threw them away in a fit cleaning. Thus, I have placed them here for my convenience.  If you should take a few minutes to read them, I hope you find them as full of meaning as I did.

"If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am."

Cyril Cusack, Irish actor

". . . always tell the truth, do no harm to others, don't think you are the most important being on earth. Rich or poor, you can then look anyone in the eye and say, 'I'm probably no better than you, but I'm certainly your equal.'"

Harper Lee

"As sure as time, history is repeating itself, and as sure as man is man, history is the last place he'll look for his lessons."

Harper Lee - Go Set a Watchman

"Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. It's knowing you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do."
Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird

"Remember this also, it's always easy to look back and say what we were yesterday, ten years ago. It is hard to see what we are. If you can master that trick, you'll get along."

Harper Lee -  Go Set a Watchman

"Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."

Harper Lee - To Kill a Mockingbird

"If you didn't want much, there was plenty."

Harper Lee - Go Set a Watchman

"About the time we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."

Herbert Hoover

"The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an instrument of peace."

Carlos Santana

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink the wild air."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Dr. Seuss

"Despite the forecast, live like it's spring."

Lily Pulitzer

"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything."

????

"Paradoxical as it may seem, to believe in youth is to look backward; to look forward we must believe in age."

Dorothy L. Sayers

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts."

Winston Churchill

"Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound."

Beau Taplin

"The three best things in life are: A good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life when you get to experience them all at the same time."
Ready Room sign - USS Enterprise 1969

"Don't dance around the perimeter of the person you want to be - Dive in fully and completely."
????

"Eat better. Run more. Make a good breakfast. Drink water. Eat fruit. Read books. Adventure. Talk less. Listen more. Feel deeper. Love better. Open your eyes. Experience life. Be happy."
????

"The human body is 90% water. We're basically cucumbers with anxiety."
????

"If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, forever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never."\
Soren Kierkegaard

"When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers - so many caring people in the world."
Fred Rogers

"The old forget. The young don't know."
Japanese proverb

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
Arthur Ashe

"Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."
F. Scott Fitzgerald

"A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator is what he thinks of himself. The bigger the denominator the smaller the fraction."
Leo Tolstoy

"Talking comes by nature, silence by wisdom."
????

"An expert is a man who has made all mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."
Niels Bohr

"It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check once in a while and make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy."
George H. Lorimer

"They say, with age comes wisdom, so, therefore, I don't have wrinkles, I have wise cracks."
????

"It's not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness."
Charles Spurgeon

"The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant. His culture is based on, "I am not sure."
H. L. Mencken

"Start by doing what's necessary, then do what's possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
Francis of Assisi 

"Do not grow old, no matter how long you live. Never cease to stand like curious children before the Great Mystery into which we were born."
Alfred Einstein

"Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men."
Syndey J. Harris

"Would the boy you were be proud of the man you are?"
Laurence J. Peters

"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
Sam Levenson

"Very little is needed to make a happy life; it's all within yourself, your way of thinking."
Marcus Aurelius

"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
Confucius

"The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do."
Booker T. Washington

"Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm, but the harm does not interest them."
T.S. Eliot

"Many are called, but few get up."
Oliver Herford

"One can be very happy without demanding that others agree with him."
Ira Gershwin

"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other."
George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)

"If there is a God, I don't think He would demand that anyone bow down or stand up to Him."
Rebecca West

"Life is easier to take than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable."
Kathleen Norris Emil

"My friends are my 'estate.' Forgive me then the avarice to hoard them."
Emily Dickinson

"Slow down and enjoy life. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast - you also miss the sense of where you are and where you are going."
Eddie Cantor

"You can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad."
Adlai Stevenson

"If we would have new knowledge, we must get us a whole world of new questions."
Susanne Langer

"By all these lovely tokens
September days are here.
With summer's best of weather
And autumn's best of cheer."
Helen Hunt Jackson

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough."
Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Time is a created thing. To say, 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want.'"

Lau Tzu

"Life is just a short walk from the cradle to the grave and it sure behooves us to be kind to one another along the way."

Alice Childress

"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"

Voltaire

"Better to trust a man who is frequently in error over one who is never in doubt."

Eric Sevareid 

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens."

Jimi Hendrix

"A tart temper never mellows with age, and a sharp tongue is the only edged tool that grows keener with age."

Washington Irving

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Winston Churchill

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

Winston Churchill

"Notice that the stiffest tree is the most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind."

Bruce Lee

"I prefer someone who burns the flag and wraps themselves in the Constitution over someone who burns the Constitution and then wraps themselves in the flag."

Molly Ivins

"Be weird. Be random. Because you never know who would love the person you hide."

C.S. Lewis

"You're only given a small spark of madness. You must not lose it,"

Robin Williams

"Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious."

Rumi

"The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been."

Madeleine L'Engle

"Surplus wealth is a sacred trust which its possessor is bound to administer in his lifetime for the good of the community."

Andrew Carnegie

"Death is one of the few things that can be done lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."

Woody Allen

"His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy."

Woody Allen

"Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten."

G.K. Chesterton

"I'm not young enough to know everything."

Sir James Matthew Barrie

"My faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference."

Jimmy Carter

"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make the soul grow. So do it."

Kurt Vonnegut

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

C.S. Lewis

"Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we actually are."

Brene Brown